Clear Cutting

I hate paper. Unfortunately, in my line of work there is an awful lot of it. Although we’ve been able to cut down on just a fraction of it by the use of email, much of what we do centers around generating, copying and recording hard copies of documents relating to real estate transactions. You can’t email originals, sadly. A simple transaction in my office will generate a hard file filled with lengthy reports and title abstracts, policies, certified bank documents, tax reports and an endless stream of other nonsense. Sadly, this means there’s no avoiding the dreaded copy machine.

Now, I’m a usually pretty gadget-oriented person, but copiers and fax machines come straight from hell. The first time I saw Office Space, I had to stifle a very real cheer when they dealt that fax machine its death blow. But I need both the fax and the copier to do my job efficiently. It’s sort of a love/hate relationship. They piss me off all the time, but you’re just as likely to find me standing close to one of them, trying to sweet talk them into submission.

The amount of paper that is generated by these two machines in my office is staggering. If I generate a report (say on average about 80 pages in length), I generally have to produce at least 4 to 6 hard copies of the report to distribute to all parties. Then scan a copy (through the copier) to email to everyone, then fax a giant copy of everything to whatever f*ing moron on the list still doesn’t use email (it’s shocking). All this along with 50 pages of municipal violation searches attached to each report. You see where I’m going here….

And we keep these machines updated, new ones every year or two, but they are never fast enough. Inevitably, I spend a portion of my day (in smaller increments) standing in front of one or the other, waiting. waiting. waiting. 60 more pages. 30 more pages. 5 more pages. GOD KNOWS HOW MANY WEEKS OF LIFE I HAVE WASTED STANDING IN FRONT OF THAT DAMNED MACHINE when you add it all up over the years… I’m afraid to do the math. I kill a lot of trees every day.

It’s a travesty.

So maybe it’s just my ornery mood today, but I think this job is sucking the soul out of me.

A Week Off

I’m finally getting around to writing something because I am on vacation. AND because I just installed the WordPress app for iPhone and I needed to check it out.

This vacation is nothing exotic but one that I love… Quiet beach time on LBI with good friends and no set plans. It’s only been two days and already I feel like a new person. I guess I really needed the stress relief.

I can’t believe it was already a year ago that I was last here did a week. What happened to all that time? I know I kept busy but how did I miss it? I’m beginning to wonder if I just slid through all of last year only semi-conscious.

Well, luckily a quiet beach helps me not to care very much about that. Or about anything, really. Which is good right now because the Yankees aren’t looking great.

I’m a Pro Procrastinator

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve posted anything. I keep meaning to, but I’m constantly amazed how long I can put things off.

You know, this blog started out as a place for me to vent and share a little of everything, and has ended up being mostly me talking about the Yankees. And not in an interesting and well-informed way.   But to be perfectly honest, it’s a pretty fair representation of what occupies my mind during the spring and summer.

So now I’ve been thinking maybe I should have a baseball-specific blog somewhere else and leave this one for other matters. Then I can have two blogs I don’t update enough.

I’m thinking not, but I’ll try and be better with this one.

Poor Pedro.

Get well soon! Even though I spent years cursing his name as a member of the Red Sox, even I feel terrible for him having this injury this early into the season. This isn’t how the spring is supposed to start for anyone, not even the Mets! And although usually I enjoy watching Mets fans squirm a little, I wouldn’t have wished this on them just yet.

It’s spring and it is supposed to be about endless opportunity and optimism and all that crap. ALL baseball fans are supposed to be happy, at least for the first few weeks. It sucks to lose an important player to an annoying injury at the very beginning of the season, and believe me, we Yankee fans felt the pain at the beginning of last year.

We are certainly no stranger to the early season hamstring injury… and it’s because of those damn early hamstring injuries that we almost dug ourselves a hole too deep to get out of in the 2007 season.

Hopefully all the running and drill sergeant workout style of Mr. Girardi’s Spring Training will keep the injuries to a minimum this year on the Yank’s side of town.

Opening Day Notes…

HAPPY (REAL) OPENING DAY!
Even though the actual opening day game for Yankees fans will end up being played tomorrow night. Damn rain.

I know I haven’t posted in a while, here’s a few things that have been keeping my mind occupied:

- In a surprise to EVERYONE (except his immediate family, I’m guessing), Japanese Superstar and Yankees DH Hideki Matsui got married to a pencil sketch. Or that’s what it looked like at the press conference. Seems the sketch was the best that could be done for the press with such short notice. Really? He doesn’t have one photo of his wife? And who drew that thing anyway? She’s… uh, pretty? Come on, I know a three year old who does better portraits. Maybe I’m missing some kind of cultural reference here, but the whole thing seemed a little weird to me.

- As (cruel and unusual) punishment for complaining too much about the horrifying coverage TBS gave last year’s division series, the MLB has now cursed all of America’s baseball fans by awarding the second rate network Sunday Night Baseball as part of a seven year deal, along with FOX, who employs my least favorite sportscaster. Lovely.

- Morgan Ensberg, who made the Yank’s bench this season, did the smart thing. Crazed Paul O’Neill fans can now root for him guilt-free. [OH NO! See Update Below!]

- Even the ultra-rich and privileged are looking for love. As is one particular superstar. Can NO ONE pass these guys my number? Come on people… a little help here?

- Yogi has a soft spot for Robbie Cano, just like me!

Obviously I’ve been a little preoccupied with Spring Fever. I can hardly wait for the first game of the season, and I’m going down to the stadium for Wednesday’s game – hopefully it warms up and dries off a bit by then. Happy Baseball!

UPDATE: Yankee newcomer LaTroy Hawkins, who I was poised to genuinely like this season, who I had hoped would adjust quickly to New York, has snatched up Paulie’s No. 21 as soon as Morgan Ensberg was able to drop it. Crap. Okay, LaTroy had previously been issued Roger Clemens’ No. 22, which had to be a little more uncomfortable for the pitcher (who makes these terrible decisions?)… AND he claims 21 is in tribute to the late great Roberto Clemente, but still… It’s now PAINFULLY clear Mr. Hawkins does not yet understand the New York fans. Some guys just don’t get it.

[Much thanks to Pete Abraham for many of the stories I've linked to here, and for writing the only blog I read religiously.]

Forget Paulie? Please…

It’s funny, I was just thinking this exact same thing while watching a Yanks Spring Training game the other day. The story is just for fun but still… poor Morgan Ensberg. I mean, plenty of time has passed and the Yankees surely don’t have a whole lot of numbers left available in comparison to, say, the Colorado Rockies…. but did they really think nobody in New York would notice?

Wearing No. 21 in pinstripes in New York without being one pretty spectacular baseball player is only going to bring you trouble. A made-up quote from this made-up story still makes a pretty valid point:

“I personally know at least five crazy O’Neill fans that keep a water cooler in their cubicle for the sole purpose of smashing it with their fists every time they make a relatively minor, harmless mistake,” said Sal Santangelo, a Manhattan-based financier. “I also know some guys that wear batting helmets to meetings, and every time something goes awry they rip it off their head and throw it down the hallway, all while pretending to bump chests with an invisible ump. It’s a dedicated following to say the least.”

On a happier note, I was happy to hear Paulie in the booth with Michael Kay on YES, joking with former teammate David Cone and already talking about eating sandwiches and showing up late to broadcasts. It’s going to be a good year.

Nice Banner…